Sleep as Preparation (2)

I must let go.
What will life be like? How could I possibly carry on with the daily routine? A hole will be dug. Menacing in the corner, reminding me of a beautiful relationship. Something will be missing.
Exhaustion. The both of us. End the suffering. Sleep is her escape, a hint. It is her wish, to sleep eternally. Dont force her to give up. She clings to life for you. Her love has lasted so long already. Return it now. Prove to her you love her enough to let her find peace. She is trapped to her body. A body that is deteriorated and weak. It can no longer sustain her.
She has lived a rough life. The last couple years have been good.
We exchanged a love I never fully appreciated until now. You were always be my side. You have been telling me your time is near for some time. You allowed ample time for me to prepare, to begin grieving, to say goodbye. I will release you. Thank you for all you have given me, for the time you held on even though you were in need of relief. I tried to ease your pain but have merely extended it. I will always love you. I brought you from the pouring rain, took you away from isolation and depression at my parents. We shared a couple wonderful years. You were fat and happy and I enjoyed knowing that. You got to live like a happy house cat for a while. Please forgive my ignorance, my blindness to your pain. You hide it so well. The epitomy of strength. You represent the sort of woman I have always wanted to be: strong, resilient, lovable, dependent and independent, spirited, patient, a quiet wisdom.
I am scared for this. Will you let me know clearly that you are ready to go before we insert the needle? Will you tell me goodbye somehow. Will you indicate you love me? Will you just go peacefully, relieved to be set free? Perhaps thirteen is enough for all you have endured. I remember so much. All the trials to make you safer, to ensure your happiness and now this final one.
I love you my baby girl.
My Jadzia.