Beam Me Up

I never admitted that all developing adolescents, including my sisters, experience stages of sexual development. Not quite the same as realizing that your grandparents still have sex, because you don't have to clean up your vomit afterward, but equally disconcerting. Just one more thing to the list of denial.
I came home from work to find the office door closed and my little sister missing. I thought maybe she was hiding her emotional attack. As a courtesy, I knocked to provide time to compose herself, and walked in. But her look of modesty paired with a silly grin gave her away. A glance to a blank screen of the computer she was facing implied she was watching something she didn't want me to know about. Ho ho! Little miss modest does have naughty thoughts. I smiled suggestively, asked if she was okay, then walked out.
I came back an hour later and repeated the same ritual: knock, observe nothing on screen, you okay. But my curiosity had me lingering in the doorway longer than before.

"What are you doin'?"
She laughed embarrassingly, but had enough courage to question her big sister about what's been on her mind. "Do you ever have hormonal problems?"
I almost burst into gleeful laughter at her phrasing of the issue. I had the nerve to ask, "What sort of hormones are we talking about? Menstruation, emotional, sexual?" Yeah that one, the last one. "Well yeah of course." I exclaimed.
Do it. DO it. "Were you watching porn?"
I snickered like a deviant little girl who shouldn't be allowed to explain the flower's sexual frustration before the wind brings the pollen.
"Nooo." She replied.
Wait, what? Damnit. I was so sure I had caught her.
"Well then what were you doing?"
"I was looking at pictures of Captain Kirk."
And the Lord said unto the people, speak the truth and all the world will know you're secretly a Trekkie.
"Oh." I kid you not the first thing that went through my mind was: Do they really have dirty pictures of William Shatner on the internet? As if I couldn't conceive the thought that all my little sister needed was the image of a person she found attractive to set her boat assail (a sail? either way works). Ah the good ol' days when the slightest idea excited my fancy. I envy that.
You still have so much to discover my dear.
She giglgled. "I've just been so boy crazy lately."
I was still stunned, but I managed to wipe away the druel from my gaping mouth (now everything is dirty) to reassure her that it is okay to feel aroused and to enjoy her body and imagination. She laughed again and scratched her head like a freaking anime character before bursting out "Well then I would like some more time please," shoeing me out the door.
"OH. Well okay do what you will." Closed the door, prayed she wasn't a moaner, and closed myself in the bathroom. Cold water, face. Yeah.